i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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