Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
