Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
