did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
