he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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