Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
