So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
