I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
