Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
