idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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