kristin has been a bad kristin
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
