In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
