Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
