I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
