i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
