i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
