Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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