I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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