Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
