These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
