I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
