you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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