He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
