My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
