I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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