How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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