just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
