Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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