You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
