we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
