Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
