She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the day after is always just damage control
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
