So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
