i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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