The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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