I am puke
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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