The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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