I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
