also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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