i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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