please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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