I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
