bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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