Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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