i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
