You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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