i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
