i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
