Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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