Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
