I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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