if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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