the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
