watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
