after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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